After reading the scribbled outline of the note that I had written that basically changed my life, it seemed that any of the other things that I unpack will not hold much significance and meaning. Once again, I was beyond wrong. I pushed several clothing items to the right side of the suitcase so that I could pull out a Sunday Paper listing of all movies playing at Phipps Plaza on September 21, 2003.
It was a hot and muggy Sunday morning and Carr and I had planned to drive down to Phipps Plaza and have lunch at the Tavern and then see a movie. I loved Phipps Plaza because it had some of my favorite high end stores. Stores such as Tiffany and Co., Lord and Taylor, Lily Reuben, and on and on. It was fun to window shop and every now and then, make a clothing or jewelry purchase. It usually turned out to be one of the few good outings for Lars and myself.
This Sunday, however, something was very different. I was very anxious and for whatever reason, I realized that today was the day that I was going to tell Lars that I was leaving him. I had no idea that morning when I got up that I was going to walk out on my marriage today. I knew that I had been trying to hold the marriage together for several years, but after we had breakfast and got dressed, I told Carr to have a seat on the bench in the foyer. I then proceeded to tell him that I could not do this anymore and that I would be moving out this week. I think we were both stunned and surprised, but the words came out so fluently and I knew that I had made the right decision. I had finally found the courage to leave the man who had taken away my sense of self and my self respect and quite frankly, even though it was a sad day, it was also a very good day.